he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
