I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
