so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
