I am spending my child support on dildos
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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