becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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