I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
