Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Panties = found
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
