I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
