be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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