I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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