I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
