Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
did i walk over a car last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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