I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
