Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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