Nicole vs. Life
Where is the hickey?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
