Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
