I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she told me i tasted like america
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
