I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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