just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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