had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
