I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
