margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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