We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
