She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
