somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
