I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
