He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I could fuck to npr.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
