fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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