oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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