i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
accomplished twins. life is a go
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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