so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
