so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
