he shaved USA in his pubs
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
