Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
