We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
