yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
