I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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