Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
