Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
