You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
