I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
