My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
