Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
