I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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