mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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