Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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