Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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