thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
