I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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