Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
