She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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